Keeper Rankings

Keeper Grades

A day late, as is tradition. And as always it's work's fault. But yeah, here I am to serve my hot justice to your fantasy football decisions. Be warned, I may be a little rusty, I will be going in draft order, as it is draft day so I'm feeling the spirit.

Roberto

Keepers: None
Thoughts: Our holder of the number 1 overall pick showed no mercy on his team for being utter garbage all season and jettisoned his entire squad as a result. And honestly, that was the only logical option, none of the scrubs on this team were worth sacrificing a top draft pick, especially when every other team kept at least 1 player. Roberto owns the first two picks of the draft, so if he can just show up to your draft and NOT pick Kyler Murray with the #1 overall, he might be able to make some noise next season.
Grade: A+

Weege

Keepers: Stefon Diggs
Thoughts: Here we have Roberto's partner in garbage, who elected to keep at least one player from his squad. I do think it was interesting that Diggs ended up surviving, as I'm not sure it was worth burning the second overall for him, though, especially when Adam Thielen just got paid. Then again, Weege has way better things to do with his life than virtual sports clout, not when there's plenty of virtual naked women to choose from.
Grade: C+

Nauch

Keepers: Todd Gurley, Juju, Leveon Bell
Thoughts: For having the third overall, Nauch's keepers are very very good. Although sitting on Bell through the season, may have contributed to his downfall, this season looks much more promising with Juju becoming the #1 option in Pitt, Bell back to playing with fresh legs, and an arthritic Todd Gurley that hopefully bounces back after disappearing in the playoffs last year.
Grade: A

Ant

Keepers: AB, Aaron Jones
Thoughts: Ant's keeper situation just looks like a big question mark. AB has found greener pastures (ignoring the infield dirt) in Oakland, but whether he will maintain his fantasy numbers is yet to be seen with an arguably less-talented QB and being surrounded by trash cans for teammates. Aaron Jones, meanwhile, has established himself as the top RB, but it remains to be seen whether he will put out second-round value this season. I am of the opinion that these gambles will pay off, but still a risk nonetheless. Major props on cutting Fournette, though, things ain't looking too bright for him.
Grade: B

Hurtado

Keepers: Deandre Hopkins, Zach Ertz
Thoughts: I was originally gonna say dropping Mahomes may have been a mistake, but looking at the situation unfolding as I type this, very sound choice to draft another QB late and hope you hit on it again (def see you grabbing Kyler this draft). Hurtado's locked up two solid pass catchers, albeit at a reach for Ertz; TE's always have a premium I guess, I almost decided to keep Kittle. Also, dropping Mike Evans was an interesting move, but I can see why. Overall, Hurtado is in great shape for the draft.
Grade: A

Gio

Keepers: Michael Thomas, Melvin Gordon, Julio Jones
Thoughts: Gio knocked it out of the park with these keepers. All of these guys are first rounders, so getting them at the price of a 1, 2, and 3 is a steal for sure. You even got to give Roberto David Johnson for free, what a generous guy. With keepers like those... makes you wonder how this dude was a first round exit last season.

😂

😂

😂

Grade: A+

Joe

Keepers: Kamara, Conner, Cohen
Thoughts: Joe woke up feeling dangerous last Friday. Kamara and Conner are both definitely keeper-worthy players, especially with both entering the season as the bellcow backs for their team, but taking Cohen over BOTH Coop and Thielen?! I am very confusion. I'm not knocking Cohen, he is going to be the main guy in Chicago too with Jordan Howard gone, but just interesting where his priorities stand. Joe has made me eat crow before, so I may not be shocked that he does that shit again.
Grade: B-

Chuck

Keepers: Barkley, Chubb
Thoughts: Chuck doing Chuck shit. I guess he is going for the same strategy of last season of high-risk, high-reward (and dropping players before they go off) with his predictions. Today, the crystal ball says that Keenan Allen is not worth a Keeper pick, but rather, Chubb, who will have a crowded backfield after Hunt comes back, has second round value. Barkley is of course a no-brainer, New York will be feeding him the rock very, very often.
Grade: B-

Erik

Keepers: CMC, OBJ, Kelce
Thoughts: Erik chose the right Chief. With the Tyreek situation looking bleak, Kelce is about to retake his throne as top dawg among Mahomes' pass catchers. CMC was, imo, the #1 fantasy player last season, and I fully expect him and OBJ to kill it as well.
Grade: A+

Champ

Keepers: Zeke n Adams
Thoughts: The Champ won his championship with some spare parts duct taped together, but Zeke and Adams are invaluable. Adams was the number one WR last season, and Zeke was top 2. I'm cumming back for my title.
Grade: A+

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